My Self, the Fetus
Live-performance + residue installation
Duration: 5 hours
2015

—

My Self, the Fetus, a durational live performance with a special adjustment to the concept for this occasion*.

Especially for Alex and (t)his memorial, the durational form of the performance was a beautiful metaphor for the ever-changing and evolving identity and existence. Both in regard to our own perception of self and the representation of other people’s vision of it. Content-wise it is a reflection of topics which were close to Alex’s heart, such as vulnerability, mental health and social problems in relation to public and private space. Its complexity and its many possible interpretations has been a very emotional moment for all of us, and put many others in a state of deep thought.

Everybody gathered for the ritualistic moment of the awakening – the shredding of skin – and was interpreted as the decreasing of the self but could also represent achieving lightness, especially in this context.

*This exhibition was organized by dear friend and curator Aleksandra Wojt in memory of Alex Donaghy, dear friend and fellow artist. Words can’t describe the impact of this exhibition; emotionally, socially and psychologically, surrounded by dearly beloved at one of Alex’s favored areas in Hackney, London, UK. It was an honor to be a part of this and to contribute with the live performance of my work, titled My Self, the Fetus.

–

My Self, the Fetus has meant the start of researching the self and the identification process. This research series is now existing of five parts, and arose from the convention of “just being yourself”. Because, what does that actually mean and contain: just being yourself? 

The recognition of who we are is defined by our self-conscience as it is defined by ‘the Other.’ The start of our identification process means decreasing the sense of self. As poet Arthur Rimbaud sharply stated: “Je est un autre” – the I is someone else / I am someone else – the I is created through other people’s view. Throughout our lives, after we’ve lost this self, we will be constantly performing [other people’s vision on/of us]. An insight occurred: in the current society a human being can only have a sense of self when the identification process has not yet started, and therefore when there is no self-consciousness yet.

This research was translated into a durational live performance and installation in which the artist lies down in fetal position with the body covered in a material that evolves from liquid to fixed to cracked within a durational time frame. This represents the decreasing of the self while other people’s vision takes over. The left-over skin – the residue – which is peeled off at the end of the performance, is the representation of this. 

* Alex Donaghy has been missing since November 2021 and has not been seen or heard of since. We’ve always admired Alex’s radical presence, both in life and art. Alex’s deep-rooted care for the human condition steered him through all aspects of his life. This manifested in a curiosity towards learning about and supporting people.

Whilst committed to serious matters, Alex constantly charmed us with his warmth and playfulness. He had a whole breadth of interests, which he skilfully weaved together: gardening and extreme poetry; cycling and transgressive cinema, cooking and grappling body performance. It was a pleasure to venture into them with him.

Al/ice/ex’ works were grounded in social and political values and reflected topics such as mental health, early trauma, migration, anti-institutionalism & commodification. These topics then extended into an ongoing research into vulnerability and social problems in relation to public and private space. Al/ice/ex formed a resistance to social control and sought to create alternate ways of thinking which unsettle our normal rhythms of thought.

© Photography by Mika Kailes, Gilliam Svenkov and Sinisa
© Text for Alex by Aleksandra Wojt
© Lisette Ros